Why is it so difficult to share your feelings with someone?

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Comment by Gabrielle A Barnett on February 11, 2010 at 11:57am

Hi Phil - gosh It is so warming reading your comments here. I have seen a few friends and family members re-explore their beliefs too, this way. It's sometimes amazing to see an illness apparently indirectly, develop a new awareness or give catalyst to another sense of purpose. And I so understand your point here about each having their own way. I'm thrilled the blog post brought in such strong responses - it's certainly enriched my day - thanks Phil, you are trusting "this" space to express it too - way to go, Regards, Gabrielle

Comment by Phil Astley on February 11, 2010 at 9:07am

I've been growing in this area myself over the last few years. Last year I got a son-in-law who is so like I was when I was his age it's quite scary. My daughter can see the similairities - but he can't.
One of the issues I believe is cultural. Western / pakeha culture (mine) is so individualistic. For years I interpreted everything in the light of that way of thinking.
As I started to realise there really are different ways of thinking (this was particularly helped by my stroke and subsequent recovery) for individuals, and different ways of being and expressing community in different cultures, suddenly it became clear that my way of thinking was only one - and not even a majority.
On one level of course I knew that - it's fairly obvious. But as a real way of life - it has changed my outlook quite a lot. Some time ago I left "church" - but it's only in the last few years I've realised how much of what I'd clung to was simply a cultural version of reality. Doesn't mean life's been easy since then - but it's been far deeper - more "real".

Comment by Gabrielle A Barnett on February 11, 2010 at 6:27am

Thanks for taking the time to comment - interesting you suggest that sharing feelings with friends is a "burdeon" - followed by an expectation they will do the same. The customers we sell our products to follow my blog link here, they enjoy the "sharing" of feelings experience. I fully understand that we all have our own way of living our lives to the fullest - and that makes for colourful relationships. I'm thrilled yours are reaching your expectations. Way to go Cabal Investigations. Regards, Gabrielle

Comment by Cabal Investigations on February 10, 2010 at 3:50pm

I don't burden my friends with how I feel and I expect them to return the courtesy. After all, if I really cared, I'd ask, and the fact that I don't ask says it all.

Mark me down for 'dismissive'.

And I'd like to point out that this outlook on life has not stopped me from long lasting friendships either.